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2003-05-15 4 5:14 a.m.
sorry abt the timestamp on this.
couldn't sleep.
been tossing & turning since 3-ish & i decided 2 quit tryin'. still @ juan's pad, still walkin the 40 mins back & forth b/n here & campus doin the jobsearch. my parents hit me w/ a zinger in the email -- still stunned, still dont get y my pops is never frickin' satisfied. i'm trying not 2 lash out. still penning stuff. still chilling w/ folk. health overall isn't the greatest -- it's been a week & my wrist still hasn't healed from juan's work out. i'm suspecting a fracture. i'm not sure. the slash i incurred upon my person (above my right ankle)...while packing no less...is healed but the affected area still sore 4 a few inches outside the scab. then various leg/knee/hip issues that keep reoccuring. breathing is dope 4 the most part but trekking dang near an hr w/ groceries in the backpack ain't healthy 4 those lung-impaired like moi. kinda unhappy, but not letting loose abt it. plan is 2 call the therapist & apologize 4 my untimely truncation. do much reading/writing. prolly rustle up a ticket 2 england since those r my options: stay in nashville & work on campus, go 2 england & work there or go 2 ghana & earn 50 cents a day. only i'm not healthy here in nashville -- not mentally anyway. my gpa is a 2.19 right now. it sucks 2 have yr educational career mauled by 3 semesters of engineering. nothin' pretty abt that. maybe i'll hit borders & lose myself in sum magazines; i feel myself gettin' antsy...i feel a cloud comin' on.
*watches the sky lighten...& the dawn roll in*
albuterol sucks, dude.
this is 'posed 2b america, land of assorted healthcare. i need sum genuineness (winces @ the thought of $18 + 15 for shipping tho). i'm finna online order sum ventolin if i cant get my hands on sum'n more potent than this crappy puffer they gave me soon. this is juan's crib: the asthma attack-inducing lair. i'm not tryna mess around & leave here laid out onna stretcha.
parents want me 2 start covering my own expenses. stuff back home is kinda ugly right now...
*curses the sheltered life he's led*