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2003-05-31 4 2:36 p.m.
's been wyld the last few weeks 4 me.
i've been spending a whole lotta time w/ disciples & that's been the best part. it's been stellar company really; just goodness top 2 bottom. last week thursday Sean came by & we drove up 2 MTSU's campus, where i stayed the night w/ him & Debo. Demeatrice wasn't there 'cuz he was walking the 7hrs it takes to get to Hermitage 2 go c his girl. i don't think anybody believed him when he said he was going, so e'time i asked where D was, cats was saying stuff like "hanging in Lavar's room" or somesuchnonsense. but no, dude actually trekked 7 frickin' hrs. wow...
but yeah -- 's like one of the best ways 2 really bond w/ sum1 is 2 share their boredom, y'know? i think that's part of y me & my lil' brother back home have such a tight friendship. 'cuz we've been bored 2gether, doing nothing & dying of idleness -- so many days, so many summers. so me & Debo basically did that -- played videogames (Sean's PS2, my GameCube), rented movies, listened 2 music & ate food. lots of sleeping & lounging abt in b/n. i didn't leave till saturday morning.
we had the campus mixer saturday afternoon; madd boring, but i survived it. didn't wanna go but i put in my obligatory appearance. directions were totally off so me, Patrick, Kenon & this cat James (who's been a disciple just 7months) were driving all around tennessee almost, lookin' 4 this friggin place...lol. it was coo' tho' -- we had Capital Punishment playing in the whip & me & Kenon were completely wylin' to Pun's lyrics. that kid's flow will never be imitated, man. never. dude was a wordsmith in a true sense.
& they had me DJing @ the mixer; stuck w/ a Nike(?!)Discman & a system, i had 2 make do w/ the handful of Reggae-influenced music i had. *shaking head*. i was spinning Camp Lo, Erykah Badu & Bilal -- that's how desperate it got. but overall, 'twas a decent success & we rolled home -- not b4 we stopped @ a McD's tho. *chuckling*. i place my order(DoubleCheeseBurger, McChicken, Fries & a water) & step aside 4 Kenon 2 do his thing: "2 DoubleCheeses & a water". so i lean over the counter towards the server, like "yeah, he's too poor to afford fries, man". *pause*. server-dude holds a straight face 4 exactly 2.4 seconds then bursts out. by then of course, we're all splitting sides, & Kenon's promising 2 get me back. i cracked on 'im all the way home man...me & my 20-buck-bank acct self, lol! videogame orgy later that night & wyling out w/ Eugene until we couldn't hold our sides.
church the next morning was a buncha classes & a short msg from Doug abt love. it blew me away how many times the word "love" is mentioned in John's letters. i'd never read that far in2 the back o' the bible. cats rolled from there 2 Demos' but me, Yaw & Kenon didn't have the wallets 4 that kinda eatin' so we slid back home while trading poverty stories in the car -- Yaw: sleeping on matressless beds & having 2 eat half of a Chinese meal so u could have dinner that nite. Kenon: making wish sammiches; put 2 slices of bread 2gether & wish that u had sum meat. i was fallin' out.
that night, Fernando took me 2 BurgerKing, his aparmtment & then out 2 watch Reloaded 4 the 2nd time (i'd watched it the 1st time @ the campus devotional we'd had, but he isn't a campus student so he was a Reloaded virgin). it was crazy fun having 2 overcome the language barrier; i think 'cuz of him tho, i may actually make the effort 2 learn Spanish. don't know a single word, lol. i think some consequence of how good i am w/ English is how much i suck @ other languages. Fernando's a madd coo' cat though -- i think he asked me 2 c if i could move in w/ him & his brother, 'cuz they're having major beef & it's a serious challenge, them living 2gether w/out a mediator. i have 2 call him & sort that out tho'. it was good 2b splurged on 4 a day. we prayed 2gether in the car; him in Spanish, me in English & parted ways.
all the memphis cats left Monday morning after more videogames & a night of music revelation 4 Kenon: i took him in2 Juan's room, where i have my laptop & speakers set up. he played me summa the beats he's made; i didn't expect him 2b that good behind the boards, but he really has it down. a dark & sinister sound that i really like. i played him ToneDeff's EP. i think afterwards, his exact words were "i haven't felt this way abt music since i listened 2 Illmatic." mission accomplished huh?
monday being memorial day was a holiday; went over 2 the Hunter's house & barbecued. my first time handling 2 the honors; i did a bangup job too...that stuff was scrumptious. helped Kim/Joleen/Candace/Zena move outta their apartment that night, i think -- Travis, Didi & Rob helped us out. we were huffin' & puffin like nobody's business. i had no inhaler on me either, which wasn't smart but i made it thru the night. i almost flipped on summa them sisters tho; ppl carrying pillows & stuff downstairs while u got the 200lb boxes & they telling u 2 TAKE CARE WITH THEM?! WHAT?! do YOU wanna manhandle this down those 3 flights of stairs?! i didn't think so...lol. we had a really good time tho; Travis divulged all the ugly secrets of his seedy teenager past, lol -- shoplifting, fights w/ the family & a general ornery attitude. hilarious. we filled the truck & left w/ promises 2 help unload it @ the new pad the next day. no, i didn't show up 4 that.
did nothing tuesday; talked on the fone w/ Annie & Patrice. made plans w/ Annie. wednesday, we carried out the plans -- Annie picked me up & we went 2 her house where she tossed up sum cabbage 4 lunch. good stuff. we watched a lil' daytime tv (that stuff is guaranteed 2 lower yr intelligence, i'm tellin' you) & rolled 2 this uber-Urban clothing store 2 peruse. they had decent stuff 4 decent prices, & she even offered 2 purchase me sum'n as a late birthday present...but i'm maturing now. nothing tickled my fancy & i'm learning how useless it is 2 needlessly own stuff. declining freebies hasn't always been my way, so this is indeed one big leap 4 Eli-kind. Annie's a good person 2 talk 2 & the conversation was quality.
thursday, cleaned up the apartment for hours. Jessica picked me up abt 3pm & we went 2 the place she's housesitting @, where i got 2 do laundry(i was really getting desperate where that was concerned). watched daytimetv there also, hit up BurgerKing (Jess is on a diet, so she declined). we laughed @ Sabrina the idiot witch & then rolled 2 TSU's campus where we met Yolunda/Didi/Jazmin & rolled 2 the arrested development concert. parking was the most problematic freakin' thing cuz Jazmin & her tightfisted self refused 2 park nearby & pay $5 b/c of the "principle of the thing". um, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...so we drove around near half an hr, hopping from lot to lot, getting kicked out or discouraged or asked 2 pay until we finally settled on this dollar place.
concert was bomb. much shorter than i expected, but they ripped their set. their new music is just as ill, but more upbeat than their older stuff but the whole set was fiyah. ill outfits, very inexpensive stageshow...their DJ totally tore up MOP's AnteUp on the 1's & 2's. i mean turntablist extreme. Machete X was his name i think. it was art f'rill. & Speech. dang, Speech?! no wonder he's the frontman of AD -- goodness, dude has talent up the wazoo. & i had no idea he could sing too; he tore UP marley's "redemption songs" completely. i had 2 do a doubletake 2 check if it was still him on the mike. if he wasn't a disciple, i don't think i woulda worked up the nerve 2 approach him afterwards tho -- i suck @ stepping 2 folk, lol. but we did; rolled up like 5-8 ppl deep, all hugging up on 'im & talkin' disciple-talk, lol. apparently, he's quite the standout character up in the Atlanta church. but yeah, dude was down 2 earth as it gets & stupid humble. Jessica took me back home & dropped my laundry off the next day.
Friday, there was no devo but Zena picked me up around 7:30 & took me 2 their new apartment 2 hang. Didi & Indira were there also, & Indira'd brought her Xbox. they were all moved in & everything was set up -- place looks more than spiffy. there's so much space, & it's just an overall tight crib...it's even a gated community, w/ a pool & a security guard & all. plush living indeed. but yeah, we kicked it, watching videos from the campus retreat & Indira's birthday, then we tore in2 the Xbox for sum NBA2k3 action. the crappy controller had me sucking, but i took my losses like a man...lol. Yolunda was goin' thru sum stuff & so Zena left 2 go kick it w/ her & help her out a bit. left around 11pm & Candace took me 2 Walmart b4 we got home; even gave me advice on what 2 pick out. sister's ain't 100% bad apples, huh?
saturday morning, rather than laying abt & doing nothing the first half of the day as i've been inclined 2 do some of these days...i dragged myself up & worked on being disciplined instead. showered, & had a mammoth quiet time -- that stuff lasted almost 2 hrs, & it was the most refreshing thing i've experienced in a long time. just digging in2 my bible of my own accord for ages & then pouring my heart out in prayer. it felt right, & i felt spiritually on point. not languishing & afloat. but just knowing that i was where i needed 2b & feeding my spirit what it needed 2b fed. ill. washed dishes, cleaned up, dressed & listened 2 a buncha Ani Difranco...
yeah. the last few weeks have been dope. many struggles; the money thing's the most pressing. the health thing hasn't been fun. & just trying 2 grow & stay changing -- that part especially has been really hard. 'cuz u have a memory flashback or u have a sex-dream & it's like...why am i doing this again? what's the point? i remember how good depravity can feel. but then i also remember how desolate & desperate the bigger picture was; & in case i 4get, i have 7, 8 months of pre-Juan diary entries 2 remind me. but these ppl r the most important; these ppl who i was a stranger 2, just a year ago r now the closest 2 me & they're my family. i think of them & i have nothing but smiles. everyone of them, even the ones who've wronged me down the line. i c them fighting, i c them loving, i c them helping each other out & extending hands 2 me & i think...
yes...
this is all worth it.
this God-stuff? it's worth it indeed.