newest
older
profile
guestbook
e-mail
dgdesigns
host

...:: Christmas with Cousins ::...

2004-12-25
4 3:04 a.m.

I have never kissed a girl with freckles before.

My first thoughts upon meeting you.

You struck a figure so ripe it was obscene...
hair spilling in wet, ochre ringlets,
face too eager, teeth too white.

I spent all of that afternoon avoiding you,
my eyes cutting away the instant ours locked,
my gaze quick to discover the underrated intricacies
of the pockmarked pavement we walked together.

Shopping on Christmas Eve
is always better done in groups,
so that the air of procrastination
weighs less heavily on the mind.

When they said a friend would be tagging along,
I expected melanin and saddlebags,
like Tasha from dinner last night,
or like myself.

I leaned against racks of cargo pants in Old Navy
and mumbled hiphop choruses, rapping my knuckles
against the display shelves to keep from looking cool.

Goofy is adorable. Goofy is endearing.

Goofy was not prepared for you to come home with us,
or for your invitation,
delivered in such off-hand fashion
I very nearly feigned ignorance...

"Wanna play Taboo with us?"

And after an afternoon of running,
curiosity got the better of me and I found myself
responding to your second invitation of the night.

"Sit here," you said,
patting the carpet beside you. And so I did.

Plopped down every African inch
of my animated, adorable, endearing self
and before long I had run out of jokes.
My well of witty anecdotes ran dry
and yet your thirst would not be quenched.

Suddenly our elbows
were dangerously close together
and your lips were by my ear,
whispering hiphop choruses...

"You can hate me now..."

Mocking and cajoling;
your hand on my shoulder,
your thigh melting into mine.

"But I won't stop now..."

You cussed and flipped the bird,
as we bickered like the lovers I wished we were,
and thoughts of the boyfriend you'd mentioned
drifted to the dusty corners of my mind
like middle school embarassments,
hurriedly forgotten and clumsily filed away,
only to be stumbled upon later
when nothing but fortune and fantasy remain.

We dabbled so innocently:
You, frolicking in the freedom
from a significant other...
Me, unshackled from my morality
for one sinfully sweet evening...

And when it came time to go,
you clasped my hand in yours,
flashed a Colgate smile and left for Kansas,
my cousins oblivious to what had almost transpired.

I pined for a good half hour,
until I realized for the first time
why God keeps certain tests of faith
away from certain men.

A flippant "Keep it real" was what you left me with.

As long as we never again cross paths,
I think I just may be able to.

(c) E.Tetteh, 2004


commentary:
i wrote this a day (2 days?) after confessing to a very good friend online that i wanted to give up on poetry.

i hate the ending.

most of it is real, some of it is lies (eg. i'm not staying w/ my cousin), & some of it is just excuses to use poetic language rather than sincere thought/feeling. i'm feeling that it's become harder...to make truth into poetry for me. i don't know why. & i think that's a big part of why i feel so detached from the craft right now -- it feels so insincere, so contrived, so forced.

turning speech into literature.

"whuddup, girl?" becomes "how fare thee, delicate damsel?" or some such nonsense.

*sigh*...the girl is like the spitting, shorter, whiter, brunette image of Gloria Velez. i couldn't believe it myself. i mean it was all i could do not to stare. she even TALKS like Glory, down to the Latino twang & the slight overbite. today was hard on me, as far as that. i mean generally it takes nekkidness of some sort for folks to catch yr attention if you're on guard. halter-tops, miniskirts, what have you. it's the rare person that can draw madd struggle from you while not an inch of skin is shown. i literally have been studying the sidewalk/carpet all day...

...but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed... (James 1:14)

previous - next